Please know that grief is the natural by-product of love. One cannot selflessly love another person and not grieve at his suffering or eventual death. The only way to avoid the grief would be to not experience the love; and it is love that gives life its richness and meaning. Hence, what a grieving parent can expect to receive from the Lord . . . may not necessarily be an elimination of grief so much as a sweet reassurance that, whatever his or her circumstances, one’s child is in the tender care of a loving Heavenly Father. . . .
The overarching question asked by the bereaved and the burdened is simply this: Why? . . . These are natural questions, understandable questions. But they are also questions that usually go begging in mortality. The Lord has said simply, “My ways [are] higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:9). As the Son’s will was “swallowed up in the will of the Father” (Mosiah 15:7) so must ours be. . . .
Reduced to their essence, humility and submissiveness are an expression of complete willingness to let the “why” questions go unanswered for now, or perhaps even to ask, “Why not?” It is in enduring well to the end (see 2 Nephi 31:15-16; Alma 32:15; D&C 121:8) that we achieve this life’s purposes. — Elder Lance B. Wickman, “But If Not,” Ensign, November 2002, p. 30
Many with devastating disease, disability, trauma, or grief face years of suffering. Grief follows no set timeline. As time passes, those who grieve learn to make a life for themselves, but it’s still common for them to experience sorrow and yearning. One woman told me that even though her son had passed away 21 years earlier, she still had memories of him “come out of the blue,” and felt the sadness return.
While help and assistance at the time of a painful event is certainly important, trauma survivors, people who are grieving, or victims of other distressing situations can encounter several difficult times afterward. For instance, increased sensitivity is especially helpful at the three-month and one-year mark after the distressful event. (Ibid., Worden) Anniversaries and holidays are delicate times as well. — Ann E. Tanner, “Carrying Others to the Pool of Bethesda,” Ensign, January 2011, pp. 64-65